Well friends, another season of GoT is at an end. Nine months to wait until we see what happens to our most beloved and hated characters. Folks who have read the books know that only approximately half of the content of book 3 was covered this season, which means if you read the third book you will spoil the next season for yourself. Like last year, episode 9 was totally kickass, which left the finale tying up some loose ends while leaving others to dangle. Unlike Theon’s penis, which will never dangle again. (What? Too soon? Jeez, you guys are so sensitive.)
Some fave moments from the finale:
Arya shanks a motherfucker: Storm Crow was full of cheers and appreciative applause when Arya took a knife to the asshole boasting that he’d helped mount Grey Wind’s head to Robb’s body. Naturally, the Hound took out the other guys and his only request was that she warn him next time they were going to tag-team kill someone. Also very cool: she calls upon the Faceless Man! Can’t wait to see what comes of that…
Tyrion and Tywin give Joffrey a much-needed verbal smack-down: Tyrion’s death threat, followed by Tywin sending him off to bed, had Joffrey throwing a tantrum like the little bitch that he is. I’m guessing Tywin’s devotion to family (however grudging – just ask Tyrion) will keep him from actually killing Joffrey, though I suspect he’s on quite a few kill-lists and someone else will try to claim that honour.
Ygritte shows John Snow that he literally knows almost nothing: Really, Jon Snow? REALLY? Are you actually that naive, to think she wouldn’t shoot? You got off lucky, son. Her initial plan was to go all Ramsay Snow-styles and turn your cock into her fave piece of jewelry.
Bran and Sam become bro’s: It was satisfying to finally have two characters come together for the greater good (reunification of Stark brothers?) instead of for the greater evil (Roose Bolton and Walder Frey, although you just know Bolton is gonna put a cap in Frey’s ass and take over that giant castle. And couldn’t you just imagine Argus Filtch making the same speech about Hogwarts students, if Voldemort suddenly gave him power? “They always looked down on me for being a Squib, but where are they now? Dead! Ha ha!”). Although I’m a bit confused – is Bran really thinking that going to find the three-eyed crow out amongst an army of frickin’ White Walkers is the best idea to move forward with? Obvs there is more to this story in the book, and it hasn’t been explained well in the show. So far.
A couple of so- so moments: Jamie’s re-entry to Kings Landing, and the staring contest between him, his missing hand, and Cersei. I imagined something dramatic that would include Brienne, something that might test their new friendship (e.g. the Lannisters threatening to kill her, Jamie needing to defend her, being torn.. something like that.) Also, This season ended like last season which ended likethe one before: with Khaleesi and her dragons. Cool to see that they’re bigger now and are quite formidable, disappointing that her plotline seems to move slower than the shit running down Gin Alley. (Shout out to my Flea Bottom homies, Davos and Gendry!) And what was with the whole Great White Hope things? Daenerys, with her flowing blonde locks and alabastor skin, in such contrast to – once again – brown skinned slaves… tres uncomfortable to watch and a very tired racial narrative.
Let’s finish off with something distasteful and funny, shall we?